Westeros Wheneverly

A Lesbian and a Jew get Drunk on Game of Thrones thmeded Cocktails and talk circles about all things ASOIAF. Spoilers, Drinks, and Mayhem. All Men Must Drink!

#21 - Azor A’Hell No

April 19th, 2016
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Tana and Dave drunkenly discuss the ideas from "The Bloodstone Compendium" and touch upon how George is going to end the world.....uh...the books. Azor Ahai is both Villain and Hero, as we judge people by their shadow birthing, baby burning, murderous friends.


MUST READ/MUST LISTEN

https://lucifermeanslightbringer.wordpress.com/  The Bloodstone Compendium

This 3 part podcast series is where all of the ideas Tana and Dave attempt to tackle in this week’s installment of Westeros Wheneverly stem from. LML has done tremendous work and you should do your nerdy self a favor a favor and go check out his in-depth, wonderful analysis of ASOIAF.

 

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MOON TEA

½ oz Vodka

½ oz Gin

½ oz Tequila

½ oz Light Rum

½ oz Triple Sec

½ oz fresh lemon juice (okay, we used the kind from the yellow lemon bottle, but if you can use fresh, use fresh)

1 tsp. sugar

Cold Cola

Wedge of lemon (or lime) (Tana prefers lime)

 

Not actually tea, and not actually containing any tea this is a cocktail whose numerous ingredients combine to trick the taste buds into thinking it is something else. Though we have no idea what ASOIAF Moon Tea might taste like (What’s a Tansy taste like? What about Pennyroyal?) We figured Long Island Moon Tea would be the next best thing.

 

SHOTS of MOON BLOOD

 

Hollow out one over ripe strawberry to use as an edible shot cup. Rim with sea salt.

Shake the tequila, lime juice, gin and triple sec together over ice and pour into the hollowed out strawberry.  Say your prayers then toss the whole concoction into your mouth and chew. That salty, metallic, blood-tasting sweetness means you are officially a woman now. Welcome.

#20 - Old Nan - Nedard 40 Hands

March 30th, 2016
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Dave and Tana play a game of "Neddard 40 Hand" reminisce about college drinking games, and talk about Tana's unsubstantiated theory about Old Nan!

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To Play you will need duct tape, and a 40oz alcoholic beverage, 9%abv or above

Thats it, just duct tape that fucker to your hand and you are ready to play. Remember, you can't remove the bottle until it is absolutely empty....warm frothy alcohol and all.

#19 - Swords

March 23rd, 2016
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Tana and Dave get shwasted on some Flaming Lightbringer Shots,see Video HERE: FIRE VIDEO  of which will start our youtube appearances. CAUTION: FIRE

This episode is all about Swords...kind of...in what might be the most rambling adventure of stump Dave ever!
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Flaming Lightbringer Shot:
1 1/2 oz Bailey's 
1 1/2 oz Butterscotch Schnapps
3/4 oz Goldschlager
1tbsp 151 Rum
1 dash of Cinnamon  -- that you light on FIRE!

Valyrian Steel

Tito's Vodka
Splash of Southern Comfort
Dash of Lime
Lemonade
Blue Curacao  -- As much as you want, we have tons
Lemon Lime Seltzer

Who Knew Cinnamon was Flammable!

#18 - Theon/Reek

March 9th, 2016
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Tana and Dave Dissect the new Game of Thrones(TV Series) Season 6 Trailer, get drunk, and talk about Theon...Reek...Greyjoys..and Tana tries to stump Dave in two lightning rounds...but fails...miserably!

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ALL MEN MUST DRINK
Theon's Flayed Fingers
Tequila 
Several Defrosted Strawberries
Defrosted Strawberry Juice
Pink Lemonade (Country Time, freshly mixed) 
A Sip of REEK's (sad) Tears

Silver Tequila, chilled.
Chill it hard. Like, ice cold. As cold as you can make it. Because, yo, tequila is gross (Tana). So wince, and shoot and remember how thankful you are that you are not trapped inside the dungeons of the Dreadfort and forget that Dave never has things like lime wedges or proper things found at a normal person's house.
ALL MEN MUST DRINK!
And remember, when it comes to our friend Theon: 
"What is dead may never die!" 

#17 - Littlefinger

February 23rd, 2016
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Tana and Dave stay sober for once, and still end up off track in this episode of Westeros Wheneverly. Littlefinger/Petyr (or Puh-tyre as Tana puts its) and his love/lust for Cat/Sansa.

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ALL MEN MUST DRINK
Mocking Bird Mocktini
(No Booze!) 
Cranberry Grape Juice
Lemon Lime Seltzer 
or
Sanpellegrino Limonata
1 Frozen Strawberry
Lots and Lots of Ice
3 parts CranGrape to 1 part Seltzer/Limonata, pour over ice and garish with a floating frozen Strawberry. 
Once the drink is drank and the Strawberry thawed you should totally eat the berry! 
Petyr would. 
Tonight's shot for luck (since we are a drinking podcast after all!)
ALL MEN MUST SHOOT

1 "Finger" of Vodka (Iced/Chilled of Course) 
(Preferably in your WESTEROS WHENEVERLY tumbler for those of you lucky enough to have one) 
with a 
dash of Limonata 
floating on top
Shoot, wince (with your now puckered lemon-mouth), and enjoy! 

#16 - Tower of Joy

February 2nd, 2016
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Tana takes Dave on historical tour of Robert's Rebellion, leading us to the events at the Tower of Joy....Death, Love, Betrayal, and Princes that were promised.

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And here is a BATTLE MAP that Tana made to showcase the battles and events and double weddings and history of Robert's Rebellion that we cover in this episode. Mix up your BEVERAGE of BLUE ROSES (don't forget the ice) and contemplate the nature of rebellion, love and war.

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ALL MEN MUST DRINK 

A Beverage of Blue Roses

1 Lemon (fresh squeezed)

1 Cup of Blueberries

1 Carrot

50 ml Gin (Bombay Sapphire)

15 ml Blue Curacao

Bitters

Ice

Squeeze half the lemon into your shaker, add a spoonful (or two) of your fresh blueberries and zest the carrot (a few shavings, not much. About an inch – YOU WANT TO BE HEALTHY, DON’T YOU?!) into your WESTEROS WHENEVERLY cocktail shaker. Add the gin, Blue Curacao, a couple dashes of the bitters, add ice and shake hard. For awhile. Really make a mess of that Blue Rose beverage.

Strain (to remove the blueberry bits and the shaved carrots) and serve over ice. Garnish with pierced blueberries., and if you’re feeling fancy, a sprig of mint. Bonus points if it’s from your own garden!

A BED of BLOOD shot

We do a lot of “blood” drinks on this podcast, don’t we?

No matter!

This one is Dave’s creation.

I’m sure it has grenadine and alcohol (Grey Goose) of some kind in it.

Chill!  and Shoot! and shout “ALL MEN MUST DRINK!”

#15 Varys

January 20th, 2016
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Dave and Tana create the most magnificent charcuterie (sharktootery) plate while sipping some iced pinot grigio in their fanciest podcast *said with pinky out* ever!

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ALL MEN MUST DRINK:

White Wine: 
1 Bottle Pinot Grigio
And for a truly fancy experience cut yourself some cheese (don't forget the cranberry Wensleydale) add bacon and nibble that smoked prosciutto. Add pine nuts, green grapes, and slices of clementines to your hearts content.
  


Fill glass absurdly full of ice. Pour wine into glass. Consume Alcohol

#14 Sworn Sword

January 13th, 2016
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Dave and Tana cast for the first time in 2016. Dave gets a surprise gift, and feels like shit for not getting Tana anything in return. We talk Delicious drinks, and the 2nd story of the "Knight of the seven kingdoms" book, 'The Sworn Sword'. Tana, as usual, reads from the world book, plays a two part version of 'stump Dave', and get some oddly disturbing Game of Thrones themed pick up lines. Spoiler, no one wants to see your finger dance....TANA!

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ALL MEN MUST DRINK:

BLOODY RAVEN MARTINI

2 oz. CranGrape Juice

2 oz. Vodka

1 oz. Blue Curacao

½ oz. Blood Red Grenadine

Shake the juice, vodka, blue curacao together over ice and pour over a single blood red cherry in the bottom of your glass. Drizzle the grenadine over the top and imagine it is the blood of your enemies. Look upon this with your thousand eyes and one.

 

SHOTS of WEIRWOOD PASTE

(p.456 Dance)

“[Snowylocks] …had a weirwood bowl in her hands, carved with a dozen faces, like the ones the heart trees wore. Inside was a white paste, thick and heavy, with dark red veins running through it.”

1 oz. Peppermint Schnapps (chilled)

1 tsp Bailey’s

½ Tsp. Grenadine

Pour ingredients in that order into a shot glass, take a moment to appreciate the swirling grossness that is the WEIRWOOD PASTE SHOT and shoot it back. The pepperminty goodness will leave you feeling like you can see the world one white root at a time.

#13 Not really about the Sand Snakes

December 15th, 2015
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Tana and Dave welcome back Kirsten, and go off topic....the entire episode! ALL MEN MUST DRINK: SNAKE BITE PINTS Commonly called a "Black Velvet" if you were to order them at a bar, and you MUST use Guinness out of a can, not (as Tana did for this episode) a draught bottle, (Tana you fool!) mistakenly thinking they were the same thing. 

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WHAT YOU NEED:
1 can of Guinness (chilled)
1 can of Cider (chilled)
Pour cider into a pint glass (half full) then slowly pour the Draught Guinness from the can (not the bottle!) slowly over a spoon into the half-full glass of cider and wait for the beverage to separate. 
And because the careful reader will know that Dorne is the only place in the known world where lemons seem to grow we are starting off with:
LEMON DROP SHOTS
1 oz Citrus Vodka
1 fresh lemon, squeezed 

Fill your Westeros Wheneverly Cocktail Shaker with ice and shake the citrus vodka and one whole lemon, squeezed until properly frothy. Then rim your shot glass in brown sugar (because dave doesn't have white sugar at his house) shoot and enjoy. 
     

#12 Dragon Hatchers

December 8th, 2015
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This week Tana and Dave welcome guest host Erik (from kickball) to help us flush out, analyse and dissect Preston Jacob's 'Genetics of Dragons and War' Theory. In our Longest Podcast yet, we go all beautiful mind, and have a blast! Join us in our decent to madness but make sure to like, subscribe, and watch the Series by Preston Found Below.

'Genetics of Dragons and War' - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4aoFCZGr3LY
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ALL MEN MUST DRINK:
This one is so easy!
It's just:
 
1 (bottle) of Dos Equis

Easiest drink-along yet.

Don't let Dave and Kickball Eric start without you, though, or you just might find that the fridge is empty by the time the 'cast is over. 

Tonight's shot is the 

DOUBLE DRAGON XX 
1 oz. Grenadine
1 oz. Blue Curacao
Try not to let let the sickly sweet taste of this shot dissuade you! Put those separation skills into practice by first pouring the grenadine then, using a clean dry spoon, slowly (slowly!) pour the blue curacao over the top. Shoot and enjoy.
Revenge is a dish best served cold, but discovery (of the Double Dragon XX gene) is sweeter than honey, Honey.