Westeros Wheneverly

A Lesbian and a Jew get Drunk on Game of Thrones thmeded Cocktails and talk circles about all things ASOIAF. Spoilers, Drinks, and Mayhem. All Men Must Drink!

#22 The Red Woman

April 29th, 2016

Dave gets a little Loopy, and Tana gets to play a new exciting game show, Feud of Thrones! Quick recap of the S06E01 and little history on who we think Melisandre is...We discuss the Fan Theory that Bloodraven + Shiera Seastar = Melisandre. Audio Clips, many glasses of Shade of the Evening, and some Albino Bloodravens round this episode out.



Shade of the Evening

3 parts red wine (Bota Box Cab Sav) 
2 parts Blue Curacao
2 parts Homemade Cider from Dave's friend Scott (You can use any sweet cider)
Serve over lots of ice and get ready to not remember a thing about what you were just saying. Then forget that YOU REMEMBERED TO FINISH THAT ART YOU PROMISED PEOPLE MONTHS AGO! But it's all okay in the end.
Do a couple of Albino Bloodraven shots (filled with Disaronno) and play FEUD of THRONES AGAIN!!
P.S... Tana Keeps her promise to The winners of our first Contest...Radio Westeros:


#21 - Azor A’Hell No

April 19th, 2016

Tana and Dave drunkenly discuss the ideas from "The Bloodstone Compendium" and touch upon how George is going to end the world.....uh...the books. Azor Ahai is both Villain and Hero, as we judge people by their shadow birthing, baby burning, murderous friends.


https://lucifermeanslightbringer.wordpress.com/  The Bloodstone Compendium

This 3 part podcast series is where all of the ideas Tana and Dave attempt to tackle in this week’s installment of Westeros Wheneverly stem from. LML has done tremendous work and you should do your nerdy self a favor a favor and go check out his in-depth, wonderful analysis of ASOIAF.




½ oz Vodka

½ oz Gin

½ oz Tequila

½ oz Light Rum

½ oz Triple Sec

½ oz fresh lemon juice (okay, we used the kind from the yellow lemon bottle, but if you can use fresh, use fresh)

1 tsp. sugar

Cold Cola

Wedge of lemon (or lime) (Tana prefers lime)


Not actually tea, and not actually containing any tea this is a cocktail whose numerous ingredients combine to trick the taste buds into thinking it is something else. Though we have no idea what ASOIAF Moon Tea might taste like (What’s a Tansy taste like? What about Pennyroyal?) We figured Long Island Moon Tea would be the next best thing.




Hollow out one over ripe strawberry to use as an edible shot cup. Rim with sea salt.

Shake the tequila, lime juice, gin and triple sec together over ice and pour into the hollowed out strawberry.  Say your prayers then toss the whole concoction into your mouth and chew. That salty, metallic, blood-tasting sweetness means you are officially a woman now. Welcome.

#20 - Old Nan - Nedard 40 Hands

March 30th, 2016

Dave and Tana play a game of "Neddard 40 Hand" reminisce about college drinking games, and talk about Tana's unsubstantiated theory about Old Nan!

To Play you will need duct tape, and a 40oz alcoholic beverage, 9%abv or above

Thats it, just duct tape that fucker to your hand and you are ready to play. Remember, you can't remove the bottle until it is absolutely empty....warm frothy alcohol and all.

#19 - Swords

March 23rd, 2016

Tana and Dave get shwasted on some Flaming Lightbringer Shots,see Video HERE: FIRE VIDEO  of which will start our youtube appearances. CAUTION: FIRE

This episode is all about Swords...kind of...in what might be the most rambling adventure of stump Dave ever!
Flaming Lightbringer Shot:
1 1/2 oz Bailey's 
1 1/2 oz Butterscotch Schnapps
3/4 oz Goldschlager
1tbsp 151 Rum
1 dash of Cinnamon  -- that you light on FIRE!

Valyrian Steel

Tito's Vodka
Splash of Southern Comfort
Dash of Lime
Blue Curacao  -- As much as you want, we have tons
Lemon Lime Seltzer

Who Knew Cinnamon was Flammable!

#18 - Theon/Reek

March 9th, 2016

Tana and Dave Dissect the new Game of Thrones(TV Series) Season 6 Trailer, get drunk, and talk about Theon...Reek...Greyjoys..and Tana tries to stump Dave in two lightning rounds...but fails...miserably!


Theon's Flayed Fingers
Several Defrosted Strawberries
Defrosted Strawberry Juice
Pink Lemonade (Country Time, freshly mixed) 
A Sip of REEK's (sad) Tears

Silver Tequila, chilled.
Chill it hard. Like, ice cold. As cold as you can make it. Because, yo, tequila is gross (Tana). So wince, and shoot and remember how thankful you are that you are not trapped inside the dungeons of the Dreadfort and forget that Dave never has things like lime wedges or proper things found at a normal person's house.
And remember, when it comes to our friend Theon: 
"What is dead may never die!" 

#17 - Littlefinger

February 23rd, 2016

Tana and Dave stay sober for once, and still end up off track in this episode of Westeros Wheneverly. Littlefinger/Petyr (or Puh-tyre as Tana puts its) and his love/lust for Cat/Sansa.

Mocking Bird Mocktini
(No Booze!) 
Cranberry Grape Juice
Lemon Lime Seltzer 
Sanpellegrino Limonata
1 Frozen Strawberry
Lots and Lots of Ice
3 parts CranGrape to 1 part Seltzer/Limonata, pour over ice and garish with a floating frozen Strawberry. 
Once the drink is drank and the Strawberry thawed you should totally eat the berry! 
Petyr would. 
Tonight's shot for luck (since we are a drinking podcast after all!)

1 "Finger" of Vodka (Iced/Chilled of Course) 
(Preferably in your WESTEROS WHENEVERLY tumbler for those of you lucky enough to have one) 
with a 
dash of Limonata 
floating on top
Shoot, wince (with your now puckered lemon-mouth), and enjoy! 

#16 - Tower of Joy

February 2nd, 2016

Tana takes Dave on historical tour of Robert's Rebellion, leading us to the events at the Tower of Joy....Death, Love, Betrayal, and Princes that were promised.


And here is a BATTLE MAP that Tana made to showcase the battles and events and double weddings and history of Robert's Rebellion that we cover in this episode. Mix up your BEVERAGE of BLUE ROSES (don't forget the ice) and contemplate the nature of rebellion, love and war.



A Beverage of Blue Roses

1 Lemon (fresh squeezed)

1 Cup of Blueberries

1 Carrot

50 ml Gin (Bombay Sapphire)

15 ml Blue Curacao



Squeeze half the lemon into your shaker, add a spoonful (or two) of your fresh blueberries and zest the carrot (a few shavings, not much. About an inch – YOU WANT TO BE HEALTHY, DON’T YOU?!) into your WESTEROS WHENEVERLY cocktail shaker. Add the gin, Blue Curacao, a couple dashes of the bitters, add ice and shake hard. For awhile. Really make a mess of that Blue Rose beverage.

Strain (to remove the blueberry bits and the shaved carrots) and serve over ice. Garnish with pierced blueberries., and if you’re feeling fancy, a sprig of mint. Bonus points if it’s from your own garden!

A BED of BLOOD shot

We do a lot of “blood” drinks on this podcast, don’t we?

No matter!

This one is Dave’s creation.

I’m sure it has grenadine and alcohol (Grey Goose) of some kind in it.

Chill!  and Shoot! and shout “ALL MEN MUST DRINK!”

#15 Varys

January 20th, 2016
Dave and Tana create the most magnificent charcuterie (sharktootery) plate while sipping some iced pinot grigio in their fanciest podcast *said with pinky out* ever!



White Wine: 
1 Bottle Pinot Grigio
And for a truly fancy experience cut yourself some cheese (don't forget the cranberry Wensleydale) add bacon and nibble that smoked prosciutto. Add pine nuts, green grapes, and slices of clementines to your hearts content.

Fill glass absurdly full of ice. Pour wine into glass. Consume Alcohol

#14 Sworn Sword

January 13th, 2016

Dave and Tana cast for the first time in 2016. Dave gets a surprise gift, and feels like shit for not getting Tana anything in return. We talk Delicious drinks, and the 2nd story of the "Knight of the seven kingdoms" book, 'The Sworn Sword'. Tana, as usual, reads from the world book, plays a two part version of 'stump Dave', and get some oddly disturbing Game of Thrones themed pick up lines. Spoiler, no one wants to see your finger dance....TANA!




2 oz. CranGrape Juice

2 oz. Vodka

1 oz. Blue Curacao

½ oz. Blood Red Grenadine

Shake the juice, vodka, blue curacao together over ice and pour over a single blood red cherry in the bottom of your glass. Drizzle the grenadine over the top and imagine it is the blood of your enemies. Look upon this with your thousand eyes and one.



(p.456 Dance)

“[Snowylocks] …had a weirwood bowl in her hands, carved with a dozen faces, like the ones the heart trees wore. Inside was a white paste, thick and heavy, with dark red veins running through it.”

1 oz. Peppermint Schnapps (chilled)

1 tsp Bailey’s

½ Tsp. Grenadine

Pour ingredients in that order into a shot glass, take a moment to appreciate the swirling grossness that is the WEIRWOOD PASTE SHOT and shoot it back. The pepperminty goodness will leave you feeling like you can see the world one white root at a time.

#13 Not really about the Sand Snakes

December 15th, 2015

Tana and Dave welcome back Kirsten, and go off topic....the entire episode! ALL MEN MUST DRINK: SNAKE BITE PINTS Commonly called a "Black Velvet" if you were to order them at a bar, and you MUST use Guinness out of a can, not (as Tana did for this episode) a draught bottle, (Tana you fool!) mistakenly thinking they were the same thing. 

1 can of Guinness (chilled)
1 can of Cider (chilled)
Pour cider into a pint glass (half full) then slowly pour the Draught Guinness from the can (not the bottle!) slowly over a spoon into the half-full glass of cider and wait for the beverage to separate. 
And because the careful reader will know that Dorne is the only place in the known world where lemons seem to grow we are starting off with:
1 oz Citrus Vodka
1 fresh lemon, squeezed 

Fill your Westeros Wheneverly Cocktail Shaker with ice and shake the citrus vodka and one whole lemon, squeezed until properly frothy. Then rim your shot glass in brown sugar (because dave doesn't have white sugar at his house) shoot and enjoy.